Hardship needs no introduction. It’s all around us and mentioned daily on every news outlet and social media platform.
This series of articles is not about hardship. It’s about you.
Our newsletter Weathering the Storm is a source of curated tips and strategies to help you weather the COVID-19 storm. This newsletter is inspired by actual clients* and written by experienced psychologists.
*All client names are fictional and presenting issues are composites of client experiences.
Meet Julie*
Since she applied to university, Julie’s been refreshing her email and checking daily with her friends to see if they have heard back from the programs they applied to. She’s angry she isn’t getting a response quickly enough. Every time she thinks about it, she gets upset, and it spoils her mood for the rest of the day.
What if one sentence could help Julie snap out of an irritable or angry state ?
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Our recommendation
One of the most powerful methods to snap out of an irritable or angry mood is the Semantic Method.
The spirit behind the Semantic Method is to reshape an angering thought using less upsetting words. To get this done, Julie needs to find the hidden “should” in her thoughts. When angry or irritated, there’s always a “should” thought lurking around in our head.
“Should” is probably the most toxic thought in the English language because when things don’t happen the way they “should”, it by definition leads to disappointment, which easily leads to irritation and anger.
For Julie, a possible “should” thought in this situation would be “I should have heard back from the program with an admission decision by now ”.
Once we’ve identified the ‘’should’’ thought, the second step is to reshape it using different, less upsetting words. Specifically, using this 3 part sentence: (1) It would have been nicer/better/easier if …, (2) but it didn’t happen, (3) and it’s not the end of the world.
For Julie, reformulating her ‘’should’’ thought would look like this : ‘‘It would have been easier if I had received an admission decision by now, but I didn’t, and it’s not the end of the world.”
What’s the benefit of each part of this sentence ?
Doing this simple exercise helps relativize things. Who knew 1 sentence could be so powerful ?
So next time you get irritated or angry, why not give the Semantic method a try ?
We welcome you to leave comments as well as questions in the discussion section so we can try to answer some of them in upcoming posts.
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About us
PsyVitalitï is a network of licensed psychologists, psychotherapists and therapists offering psychotherapy services throughout Canada.
To schedule an appointment, contact us at 1-844-337-2473 ext. 0. We’re available 24/7 to answer your calls.